World Cup predictions for today’s Group F and Group G games featuring Brazil, Portugal and the Ivory Coast

No great surprise in the Holland – Denmark game yesterday; Cameroon, what are you doing?; I should have known the Italians are always slow starters. So what matches can I not guess the outcome of today?

New Zealand v Slovakia 12.30pm (Rustenburg)

By far the winner of the “game I most want to avoid” competition. I can't even be bothered to look for any links, because they probably don't exist. This could be the footballing equivalent of playing Dustin Hoffman in Marathon Man and James Caan in Misery at the same time. The way my luck is going at the moment, this almost certainly means I’ll miss a seven goal thriller.

Prediction: DRAW

Ivory Coast v Portugal 3pm (Nelson Mandela Bay/Port Elizabeth)

Rumours of a rift in the Portuguese camp persist after Nani went home early. Can matinee idol Carlos Queiroz persuade his men to pull together and repeatedly let Ronaldo do all the work? This could be there’s for the taking if Drogba is refused permission to play with a robotic arm or something.

Prediction: DRAW

Brazil v North Korea 7.30pm (Johannesburg)

The old legends from 1970 and 1982 don’t like this Brazil side and the way they play at all. Can the likes of Kaka rekindle the old flame to crush the Great Leader’s hopes? You’d think so, wouldn’t you?

Prediction: Brazil WIN

The World Cup Bafana Bafana 2010 prediction success rate so far: a dismal 4 correct results from 11 games