According to my sources “McVitie’s, Samsung and Umbro are among the brands already starting to roll out media campaigns in the build-up to the World Cup.”
Biscuit giant McVitie’s has appointed a marketing company “to handle a three-month campaign to strengthen Jaffa Cake’s association with energy and football.” OK.
Their campaign “kicks off in April” and will feature “an unnamed England international Premiership footballer” plus the chance the public “to win a range of prizes as part of a themed on-pack promotion.”
Elsewhere, bread giant Warburtons “has launched limited edition eight-slice white rolls featuring football-themed packaging, which will be supported by a PR campaign.” Limited edition bread rolls. Are they to become family heirlooms?
And of course Umbro jumped the gun by getting Kasabian to showcase the England away kit and annoy the French at a gig in Paris. That was fine, by the way.
Sadly, the three companies aren’t the only ones keen to associate their brands with the world’s greatest sporting event. I can’t mention any of these companies by name because it’s all very hush hush, but here goes:
A leading pizza manufacturer is to create football-pitch-shaped pizzas with the pictures of top players on pieces of pepperoni. The idea is you move the pieces around the pitch, hoping to outflank your opponent before you get too peckish and wolf the grub down. They may or may not call it Food Subbuteo.
A regional train company is recruiting ex-hooligans for some fun days out. The thick necked idiots will all wears suits and blather on about how they’ve grown up before kicking the hell out of each other whilst eating over-expensive sandwiches.
And a greetings card company has lined up a series of Group and knock out match cards to help console fans whose team gets the boot early. Open cards up to read lines such as “Sorry to hear you lost – but your lot are rubbish so were you really all that surprised?” and “So you didn’t reach the quarters. Keep trying – some day you will!”.
Only some of the above is true. April Fool!