You may remember Fabio Capello's decision to ban the wives and girlfriends (WAGS) of England's World Cup 2010 players from seeing their partners too often during the tournament.
This could cause all kinds of problems as the testosterone-fuelled players look for other ways to entertain themselves while their Wii handsets are recharging.
The answer, according to Dutch designer Sander Reijgers, is a new sex doll shaped like a football. Unfortunately, unless the England squad is full of A Team fetishists who fancy Mr T, I really can't see this idea catching on.
It's been an odd weekend for sex-related World Cup stories. Apparently some bright spark in South Africa has hit on the idea of providing breast implants as part of an unusual World Cup package. Cue references to "booby prizes", "cups" and "handfuls".
So far, so misogynistic. Sadly, as with the sex doll story above, there is a problem. The boss of Surgical Bliss, yes, that is the name of the company behind the idea, thinks women need an incentive to join in during the World Cup. Offering breast implants and match tickets, she reasons, will work wonders.
She seems unaware that TV footage of past tournaments has tended to feature scantily clad women quite heavily. My recollection is that few seemed to have any problems filling a bra.
Sex dolls and breast implants; makes a change from hearing about Ashley and Cheryl Cole splitting up, I suppose.
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