Is Warnock the answer to England's World Cup left back problem?

Stephen Warnock is being touted as the answer to the England left back problem. The Villa defender almost certainly doesn’t shag his team mates’ partners or share exotic photos on his mobile. However, since he breaks the same leg every three months, the chances of him lasting a full season are slim. Not so, says Stilian Petrov, who doesn’t think any of this matters.

That said, if Wayne Bridge takes his ball home, the choices available to Fabio Capello could be limited to an unfit Ashley Cole, an inexperienced Leighton Baines, and the serial bone cruncher. Expect a word from Bridge on his intentions this week.

One man who won’t care whether Bridge, Cole or Heather Mills play at left back for England is Thulani Ngcobo. The 29-year-old won a competition to find South Africa's number one fan and says he will attend 38 games in June and July. It’s heart-warming to see how much football and the World Cup mean to him.

The Trap is staying put. Irish fans can finally relax and content themselves with chasing referees at this year’s World Cup.

“Germany, France and even Brazil are in a bidding war to hire away top-notch witchcraft experts from leading African teams.” This is where Nigeria’s approach to Trapattoni went wrong - too much football talk and not enough juju. With some pins and a doll they could have had the Trap safely in Lagos by now.